Brian Blind Comic

Read with the background music / pace of Jay-Z’s song New York. Feel free to insert Alisha Key’s chorus anytime while reading…

New York, The old rapper will consume you
Leave you with flavah goo…

Got a nasty tat above one titty
Got more than 15 minutes of fame, what a pitty.

Cant stop looking at the tat on your skin
Got more famous when spit on by Pumpkin.

Clothes are cheap and hair is nappy
Old picket fence teeth, boobs all flappy.

Got your fame from an old rapper
Better hope all the the mimbos you got wore a wrapper.

Hope those guys double wrapped their spork
Cuz you never know what you will find when in New York…

Come out Castagnola’s this Thursday at 8pm. It will be my last show before moving to Washington DC. Be ready, the running theme for the night is EVIL…

I am moving from San Francisco to Washington DC. It has been a great time in SF! Already scoped out clubs and venues in DC, so watch for me DCitizens and be ready for some special one-on-one sessions audiences in SF enjoyed.

I have one show before I leave. Castagnola’s invited me to perform at their Premiere comedy night on July 23. Show starts at 8pm. Tickets are $10. It will be a great evil lineup. Ever seen a blind man after drinking a five shot grande mocha, 5 hour energy drink and a handful of chocolate covered espresso beans?

I will be coming out on June 24, 10pm at The Stud Bar in SOMA. Come out tomorrow during PRIDE week. Everyone is doing it. If you do not have any leather or neoprene, there is a shop down the street from the bar. No attire is required, in fact, the crowd may find you more interesting if you do not wear anything.

Lisa Lampanelli, my favorite riffer of all time, solidified her title tonight in San Francisco at the Masonic Center. I got a one-on-one during the show with the Queen. Thanks to Doug for taking the photo while I was busy learning. Now that I have connected to my Master, have to make sure she does not take any trips to Thailand.

The blind grasshopper meets his Master.

While waiting on my double tall mocha, I turned around and found these guys talking. What an interesting conversation. Ted Bundy and Son of Sam were telling Darwin how they love his theories. Darwin seemed unphased by the two serial killers and how they tried to use science to support their murdering ways. And Darwin had a hard time deciding which murderer had a sexier actor portray them. “Mark Harmon was the top of the food chain in his day…” “But, John Liggyzammo is versatile and I loved him as that blue clown midget in Spawn.,,”

Darwin, Ted Bundy and Son of Sam think about the old days at Starbucks.